we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
