I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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