I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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