yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
where does the pee come out of this thing
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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