Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
