Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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