he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
