I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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