Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
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