I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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