oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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