If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
