apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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