SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
