i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
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