If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
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