I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
