It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
