Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
no, he came in my armpit
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
