According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Randomize
