That's when you crack a 10am beer
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
