now i know why i became what i already was.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
PANTIES FOUND
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