So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
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