is wine microwaveable?
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
