white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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