so explain again why im purple
no
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
