we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
honey bunches of taint.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
