I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
