Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Randomize
