Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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