She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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