You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Will exercising make me less horny?
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