I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
How many fucks given?
0.12846
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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