if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Randomize
