If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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