Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
