I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
