He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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