he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize