Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
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