when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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