I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
