i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
