3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
