All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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