Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
