Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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