she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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