its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
