I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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