I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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