He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
